So it was Saturday night and I was gettin' groovy on the dance floor at my local fraternity house, when somebody brought out the community beer bong. In hindsight, even thinking about partaking in this was a horrible idea because sharing a beer bong with an entire frat is already pretty disgusting. Unfortunately, this thought did not occur to me whatsoever and I accepted wholeheartedly. I told everybody that it was baby's first beer bong, so I wanted to listen to the inspirational pep talk at the end of the beloved 1992 hockey movie, The Mighty Ducks, to pump me up first. Someone pulled it up on their phone, we all listened to it and I was finally bong-ready! Everybody in the kitchen started chanting "DUCKS FLY TOGETHER! DUCKS FLY TOGETHER!" while I knelt down to receive the Natty. Here is the link to the movie scene to give you guys some context:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzJY_K0cX1c
The pressure was on. Tension was high. Morale was robust. I was truly living in the moment.
And then it all happened so quickly. One second the beer was in the bong, and then the next it was in my hair. After all of that build-up, I choked and only downed 1/4 of the beer successfully. I just couldn't take the heat. It was the most anticlimactic moment of my life!
All of my friends were laughing at me sulking on the ground drenched in Natty Light. I finally arose from my kneel of shame like:
Luckily, one of my friends was there to haul me to my feet and tell me it was a good first try. In that moment, I vowed that I would regain my dignity and conquer the beer bong before I leave college! Until then, here are some inspirational pictures to help motivate me to attain my goal:
If cats, old men, and Will Ferrell can do it, then so can Erin Tully! I will have redemption, mark my words.
Nighty night guys
-Erin
p.s. I don't even like The Mighty Ducks all that much
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